What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma
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- Create Date：2022-02-18 20:21:34
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Stephanie Foo
- ISBN：0593238109
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
Reviews
Kathleen Gray
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An amazing memoir。 This is a story of abuse， pain， trauma， resilience， healing， and moving through。 Foo's parents abused her and then abandoned her。 This was not normal behavior and it isn't until she's an adult that she realizes what was done to her and that she has Complex PTSD。 There's a surprisingly low level of anger here， largely because she's sought out and welcomed help。 And more importantly， she found new pathways。 Her journey into her family history and look at immigrant families is fa An amazing memoir。 This is a story of abuse， pain， trauma， resilience， healing， and moving through。 Foo's parents abused her and then abandoned her。 This was not normal behavior and it isn't until she's an adult that she realizes what was done to her and that she has Complex PTSD。 There's a surprisingly low level of anger here， largely because she's sought out and welcomed help。 And more importantly， she found new pathways。 Her journey into her family history and look at immigrant families is fascinating and distinguishes this from other memoirs with this underlying theme。 Foo is a terrific writer with a way of making difficult concepts and issues accessible and relatable。 Thanks to netgalley for the ARC。 This is difficult to read in parts but it's also fascinating， informative， and I expect， will be of great help to others。 。。。more
Lori Vasquez
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What my Bones Know by Stephanie Foo。。 Wow！ First off Stephanie is Strong and Amazing！ This memoir was raw and emotional。 You could feel the pain in her writing as she took you through her childhood years。 The amount of abuse and trauma she endured is unbelievable and being able to put pen to paper and be so vulnerable with her story is amazing。 Her Journalism background brought out her research in a way that provided so information that I was taking notes myself on the books she referenced。 I fe What my Bones Know by Stephanie Foo。。 Wow！ First off Stephanie is Strong and Amazing！ This memoir was raw and emotional。 You could feel the pain in her writing as she took you through her childhood years。 The amount of abuse and trauma she endured is unbelievable and being able to put pen to paper and be so vulnerable with her story is amazing。 Her Journalism background brought out her research in a way that provided so information that I was taking notes myself on the books she referenced。 I feel like I learned a lot about my own diagnosis in PTSD。 There’s parts of this book I want to share with family and say “see this， this is what it feels like to have this。” I’m glad the book ended the way it did！ I do plan to get a physical copy when released this is one for the shelf！Thank you Netgalley and Random House for providing me a ARC。 All thoughts and opinions are my own。 。。。more
Cynthia
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One thing I continuously notice any time someone shares their story of abuse， whether it’s through conversation or a memoir， is the commonalities within each story。 Our stories do not mirror each other。 They aren’t identical experiences。 But the characteristics of an abuser surface in eerily similar ways each time。 I love that we now live in a society that’s talking about all of this and that we are finding ways to mend some of our broken fragments because of those important conversations。 As a One thing I continuously notice any time someone shares their story of abuse， whether it’s through conversation or a memoir， is the commonalities within each story。 Our stories do not mirror each other。 They aren’t identical experiences。 But the characteristics of an abuser surface in eerily similar ways each time。 I love that we now live in a society that’s talking about all of this and that we are finding ways to mend some of our broken fragments because of those important conversations。 As a fellow sufferer of complex post traumatic stress disorder， the subject matter of Stephanie’s book immediately appealed to me。 She warns in the beginning that some of the content may be triggering and she isn’t wrong about that。 I did feel a bit frustrated with the way C-PTSD was presented at times。 Only certain symptoms are noted and， while that might seem logical since this is just one person’s experience， she delivered much of it in a journalistic fashion， which made it feel like those limited symptoms were solid facts that represented the disease as a whole。 I have to say that there is a lot more to it than this suggests; a lot of complex symptoms that are never even mentioned。 She does elaborate a bit more as time goes on， but I think it’s important for readers to grasp that an individual’s memoir is not the full definition of C-PTSD。Stephanie noted that there is a lack of resources on C-PTSD since it isn’t recognized as a legitimate diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders。 Psychiatrists feel PTSD is enough， but the symptoms and treatment are lacking when it comes to long term， complex trauma。 Despite what the DSM-5 has failed to define， I haven’t felt the same way as Stephanie， as I’ve never struggled to better comprehend my diagnosis through research。 I’ve discovered a great deal of material on the disease and I’ve felt it was easy to access。 I’ve found the more I’ve learned about C-PTSD， the easier it has been for me to understand myself and practice self-compassion， even when not in therapy。 And I’ve found the internet has made it easy to connect with other survivors of complex trauma。 I do， however， fully agree that finding a good therapist who recognizes C-PTSD and can properly help a patient is difficult and that there are enormous barriers in getting the necessary help， thanks to the limitations of health insurance。 I liked that Stephanie shared how this trauma affected her in ways that didn’t always paint her in the perfect light， that she was honest about her negative behaviors。 We don’t always see this in memoirs and I don’t fault the writers for that。 It’s scary to put your story out there for judgment， which is exactly what a memoir writer is doing。 It’s a vulnerable confession and people absolutely judge it。 To add in confessions of one’s own poor behavior can make people even more judgmental。 Victims of abuse， oppression， assault， etc。 have every right to share their stories without offering that added piece。 We live in a society that too often looks for a way to put the onus on the victim and every wrongdoing of the storyteller supports their mission。 So， I don’t demand that from memoirs， but I do appreciate the humility it takes to bravely share the way Stephanie did。 I’ve been triggered by plenty of books and I adore heartfelt memoirs， so it’s really difficult for me to pinpoint why this particular memoir’s delivery didn’t work especially well for me。 It made me uncomfortable in ways that have nothing to do with the trauma described。 Although I didn’t really enjoy the way she communicated through writing， I suspect a larger part of my discomfort was that I didn’t feel it offered a truly fair， compassionate view of C-PTSD。 I may have felt differently if the story had focused solely on her traumatic experiences and her quest to overcome， rather than the diagnosis itself。 Regardless， how Stephanie chose to convey her journey is completely her prerogative and I’m glad that she is fighting to make others more aware of complex trauma。 I am immensely grateful to Ballantine Books for my digital review copy。 All opinions are my own。 。。。more
Lolly K Dandeneau
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via my blog: https://bookstalkerblog。wordpress。com/𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆- 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂𝒃𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒃𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅， 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒘- 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆。 𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏’𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚？ 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒂 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚 𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈， 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒓é𝒔𝒖𝒎é 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒃: 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔， 𝒂 𝒏𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕， 𝒂 𝒄𝒖𝒕𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒓𝒐𝒃𝒆， 𝒂 401（𝑲）。 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆， 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒓。 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒓。People love nothing more than happy endings and the fact is， the majority of us do not live via my blog: https://bookstalkerblog。wordpress。com/𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆- 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂𝒃𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒃𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅， 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒘- 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒆。 𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏’𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚？ 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒂 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚 𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈， 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒓é𝒔𝒖𝒎é 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒃: 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔， 𝒂 𝒏𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕， 𝒂 𝒄𝒖𝒕𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒓𝒐𝒃𝒆， 𝒂 401（𝑲）。 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆， 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒓。 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒓。People love nothing more than happy endings and the fact is， the majority of us do not live in a state of perpetual happiness。 Life comes at us hard sometimes， collectively （as current years have proven） and individually。 For those who have suffered severe trauma， even people with the most resilient nature， there are episodes in life that can trigger them and bring it all back。 Despite scientists and psychologists best efforts to fully comprehend what abuse does physically， emotionally， spiritually and mentally to children （and adults alike） and treat it， there is still so much to learn。 The same goes for severe traumas， which can happen to any of us。 There is an expectation in society that you ‘buck up’ and get over your past。 Live in the glorious now， prepare for your blissful tomorrows， which is beautiful in theory， much harder to apply when you have suffered brutality and horrors over and over again， especially since the day you were born。 It also doesn’t make it any better if you are from a culture where such abuse is the norm， due to hardship， fear， poverty。In an ideal world， children are protected， taught about their own boundaries， and are allowed to blossom under the love and guidance of their parents or caregivers。 In reality， some children succeed in spite of their upbringing but not without， sometimes， burying unfathomable abuses and hardships。 Everything that surrounds us teaches us about ourselves when we are little， and we spend the bulk of our time with our family。 They usually serve as our model of how to love others and ourselves。 How is a child to build self-esteem when their own mother and father made them feel useless and stupid？ You carry echoes of the past within you， even when you don’t realize it。 Something I have often thought about， within a family you can see a confident adult shrink into themselves near someone who abused them or the opposite， intense anger。 They might not even notice their own reaction。 We carry our memories， even if we bury them。 Somehow， Stephanie Foo built a successful life out of the wreckage of her trauma。 She had it all， working as a journalist， she was fine （really）， she beat the odds but there was a ‘shadow lurking’ and no matter how hard she tried， she never felt good enough。 It bled into her relationships， this fear of dread， an unlovable self。 A tug of war， pushing and pulling of her partners。 Her misery drives her to do better， it’s how she made it out of the ruins of her own abusive childhood， one where the grown-ups turned a blind eye to the torment her mother put her through。 Her own father， cowed by her mother， extended family unable， unwilling to step in。 It doesn’t matter though， she left all that trauma behind， didn’t she？Just as some unnamable darkness threatens to swallow her whole， Stephanie gets a diagnosis from her doctor， Complex PTSD。 It is often a life raft， knowing the what and why of your personal monster。 How else can you attempt to tackle it， to heal？ But what if it only brings more stories of sorrow， uninspiring tales of despair， the possibility of an endlessly bleak future？ For better or worse， she is on a new road and determined to find her way out of this nightmare。It is a journey based in hard realities。 As Stephanie informs the reader， she doesn’t have the means to enter those facilities the wealthier have at their disposal but due to her hard work， she is able to take off time， leave her stressful work environment and focus on learning about C-PTSD。 She also goes back to the scene of the crime， so to speak， her past。 She travels to Malaysia， opening doors to her family’s history that as a child she didn’t see。 Stoicism， endurance， powerlessness to change unfair situations and deceptions to deny the obvious， this cycle of abuse does not happen in a bubble。 Later， once she is full grown， there is recognition that her mother did not do right by her。 In San Jose， she witnesses children who grow up under the same umbrella of abuse， exploring cultural， generational hardship of many immigrant children and their parents。 It is a daunting journey， and an eye-opening read。 Trauma through generations。 These types of memoirs are important， not only for those who have lost hope and struggle with or without diagnoses， but for those who love them。 A book for all people， I think。Publication Date: February 22， 2022BallantineRandom House 。。。more
Sara Broad
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"What My Bones Know" by Stephanie Foo is a heart wrenching and illuminating memoir about the author's upbringing， which caused her develop complex PTSD， and the ups and downs she experiences in adolescence and adulthood as a result of this condition。 For years， Foo's mother and father subjected her to severe emotional and physical abuse that understandably makes it very difficult for her to function。 While Foo's mother ends up leaving home to start another family， and her father eventually does "What My Bones Know" by Stephanie Foo is a heart wrenching and illuminating memoir about the author's upbringing， which caused her develop complex PTSD， and the ups and downs she experiences in adolescence and adulthood as a result of this condition。 For years， Foo's mother and father subjected her to severe emotional and physical abuse that understandably makes it very difficult for her to function。 While Foo's mother ends up leaving home to start another family， and her father eventually does the same， she is still entangled with him a way that causes guilt and anxiety。 Foo struggles to find someone who can accurately name her condition， and when she finally does， it comes with a sense of relief but also confusion about how to treat complex PTSD。 She includes some interesting and eye opening discussions with scientists and therapists about brain chemistry and trauma， but she also reveals how few people are aware of complex PTSD and prepared to treat her。 While I thought that Foo rambled on a bit at times， she also reminded me of the importance of providing a listening ear and treating people with empathy。 This was a solid read。 。。。more
Thelma
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I'm still trying to find words about everything that I've learned in What My Bones Know， it was a great book， not an easy one as many of the situations the Author experienced were really hard to digest but it was very worth it。 Stephanie Foo had a very traumatic childhood， her parents abandoned her when she was just a teenager， after years of physical and verbal abuse， Stephanie thought this was "normal" she started failing school and getting in so much trouble like any teenager whose parents ar I'm still trying to find words about everything that I've learned in What My Bones Know， it was a great book， not an easy one as many of the situations the Author experienced were really hard to digest but it was very worth it。 Stephanie Foo had a very traumatic childhood， her parents abandoned her when she was just a teenager， after years of physical and verbal abuse， Stephanie thought this was "normal" she started failing school and getting in so much trouble like any teenager whose parents are not around， she didn't have an easy childhood， lost many things during the process， failing grades and lost many friendships， but she also forges herself to be stronger and continue fighting for her life。The first pages of What My Bones Know were really hard to read but I think it was necessary to know what the author went through， in order to be able to understand her growth and everything that happened during her childhood。 I really despised Stephanies Mom， I never met or seen or read anyone like her before she was very brutal。 There is a part in the book in the last pages when Stephanie is finally able to understand what her parents and many of the Asians went through during the War and many situations the world was living in order to behave like her parents， Without giving too much away The author describes a childhood memory that recalls how she thought her mother loved her the most because she hurt her more。 I was literally sobbing and cursing her mom while I read this， I just couldn't understand why she wasn't capable of loving her only daughter。After many years of being abused The author seeks help to understand what she was going through as she developed different alignments that were really alienated her from her work， friends， and life in general。 she didn't know what was happening to her until years later when she confirm she had complex PTSD。What My Bones Know， tell us the story of Stephanie Foo， a story of strength， fights， resilience。 she never gave up， she fought hard to find herself in this world and to finally be able to feel safe and understand what was happening to her and why all this happened in the first place。 I've read many WWll books and I had a very different impression of the Asian culture， when we”re talking about how they treat their children but after reading What My Bones Know， I finally realize the reality of it， the truth， and why this is happening， I now understand more about this and I'm thankful to realize this。There is a happy ending and many great situations to learn and to understand I really enjoy this bookFavorite part of the book， when The author wrote a few texts and calls to her friends， I cried so much happy tears you will see why。 Overall it was a great book， I really felt very empowered with Stephanie's story， it gave me so much hope， so much faith and I'm very happy to read she has her happily ever after。 very well deserved。Thank you， to the author for sharing her story with us， very happy to see you thrive。Thank you， NetGalley， Random House Publishing Group， and Ballantine Books in exchange for my fair and honest opinion。 。。。more
Linda
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The author allows her heart to get up close and personal。 She is vulnerable and tells her story with honesty and raw emotion。 She shows courage mixed with determination。 She had courage to admit she needed help and to seek the right kind of help， and determination to continue to better herself。 Her determination extended to a desire to help others who may also be struggling with complex PTSD。The writing itself was easy to read， but what she wrote was not。 The first part of the book holds trigger The author allows her heart to get up close and personal。 She is vulnerable and tells her story with honesty and raw emotion。 She shows courage mixed with determination。 She had courage to admit she needed help and to seek the right kind of help， and determination to continue to better herself。 Her determination extended to a desire to help others who may also be struggling with complex PTSD。The writing itself was easy to read， but what she wrote was not。 The first part of the book holds triggers and， if you need to， the author gives you permission to scan it or skip it。 However， if you can handle triggers， it does set up a perspective for better understanding。 As we glimpse into Foo's life there are many layers to unfold。 There are mental and physical abuses， family dynamics， friendships， mental health and a fight to survive。 Reading about her life and complex PTSD made this an excellent and educational book。 Foo's journey to finding answers is both heartbreaking and helpful。 What I didn't like was the large amount of foul language。 I found it unnecessary， but gave an exception to it because of the emotions and background of this very real person。 Because of her willingness to make her story public， I learned something to better understand others。 For that reason I appreciated the book all the more。 What My Bones Know is a worthy read， but read it with caution。I was given a free ebook and was not required to give a positive review。 Thank you， Random House via NetGalley。 。。。more
Heather
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This book is truly excellent。 Stephanie Foo has done an incredible amount of research about complex PTSD and in doing this research， she learned so much about herself， her history and her family's， and the trauma that has been passed down to her through the generations。 The abuse she endured at the hands of her parents was horrific and really difficult to read but wow what a vulnerable and brave thing Foo did in detailing it for the reader。 I can't imagine the trauma she experienced in reliving This book is truly excellent。 Stephanie Foo has done an incredible amount of research about complex PTSD and in doing this research， she learned so much about herself， her history and her family's， and the trauma that has been passed down to her through the generations。 The abuse she endured at the hands of her parents was horrific and really difficult to read but wow what a vulnerable and brave thing Foo did in detailing it for the reader。 I can't imagine the trauma she experienced in reliving these events as she wrote about them。 She is also such a talented writer - her words are infused with so much emotion and clearly SO much intelligence。 She is just so good at this。 By the end of the book， the compassion she has gained for herself is inspirational， it's a gift to be able to experience it through her eyes and through her writing。 What My Bones Know is SUCH an astounding book， it is that excellent。 。。。more
Emi Yoshida
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Stephanie Foo is an amazing writer， producer， and communicator。 Her story is amazing: the abuse she endured from her immigrant parents， the lengths she went to to heal from complex trauma （C-PTSD diagnosis）， and the love she now shares with her husband and his family。 I learned so much about traumatized brains， how men and women react differently to the same stressors （tend-and-befriend vs fight-or-flight）， personal vs communal trauma， immigrant trauma and how trauma is passed on genetically， de Stephanie Foo is an amazing writer， producer， and communicator。 Her story is amazing: the abuse she endured from her immigrant parents， the lengths she went to to heal from complex trauma （C-PTSD diagnosis）， and the love she now shares with her husband and his family。 I learned so much about traumatized brains， how men and women react differently to the same stressors （tend-and-befriend vs fight-or-flight）， personal vs communal trauma， immigrant trauma and how trauma is passed on genetically， derealization and depersonalization， noncoding DNA。。。 and not the way you learn in a class or textbook， but the way you learn from stories on NPR， through a relatable voice that entertains while educating。 Our father died of suicide in between the dissolution of both my sister's and my marriages （both our husbands of 16 yrs dumped us for other women）， all of this in the midst of Covid-19 so we still haven't been able to hold a funeral or memorial for our dad， and it's been two years。 My sister just asked if I'd heard of the term "complicated grief" and I said no but having just read What My Bones Know， I have a good sense of what it probably entails。 I've already recommended this book to two people and its publishing date isn't until 02-22-2022。 Thank you to NetGalley and Ballentine Books for the ARC。 。。。more
Megan Bingman
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So friggin’ good。 I felt seen and heard。 I laughed and cried。 I had my breath taken away。 Ah-maze-ing。
Kari Gehman
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I never thought I would read a book about complex PTSD and enjoy the experience， but enjoy it I certainly did。 Stephanie Foo writes her story in such a way that although you can feel her pain， it isn't overwhelming。 She is both logical and emotional。 She teaches you the science while not disassociating。I am in awe of her willingness to be vulnerable and share so much of herself within these pages。 She invites the reader into her most painful memories and allows us to see her transform。I want to I never thought I would read a book about complex PTSD and enjoy the experience， but enjoy it I certainly did。 Stephanie Foo writes her story in such a way that although you can feel her pain， it isn't overwhelming。 She is both logical and emotional。 She teaches you the science while not disassociating。I am in awe of her willingness to be vulnerable and share so much of herself within these pages。 She invites the reader into her most painful memories and allows us to see her transform。I want to share this book with everyone。 With the appropriate trigger warning， of course。 。。。more
Rennie
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oh man this was a lot take in but all of it was so， so good。
Marsha
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This is a brutally honest and humble memoir about a person who suffered extreme violence， neglect and emotional abuse as a child， achieved career success and a loving life partner， and then set on a path to try to heal herself。 Abuse from her parents that continued on into adulthood left her with a hopelessly tangled set of emotional issues and you may think that reading about her journey through different kinds of therapies to fix herself would be a heavy go。 It's not。 She's written with humili This is a brutally honest and humble memoir about a person who suffered extreme violence， neglect and emotional abuse as a child， achieved career success and a loving life partner， and then set on a path to try to heal herself。 Abuse from her parents that continued on into adulthood left her with a hopelessly tangled set of emotional issues and you may think that reading about her journey through different kinds of therapies to fix herself would be a heavy go。 It's not。 She's written with humility and insight about every step of her journey。 This is a useful read for anyone who has suffered from extreme emotional trauma but also gives insight for those who have friends or family who have lived through such abuse -- basically meaning we can all deepen our empathy by reading this book。 The memoir is peppered with stunning gems of insight and I have such deep admiration for Stephanie Foo。 Hers is an unforgettable journey。 Read this book。#netgalley 。。。more
Sue Purbrick
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An interesting read about Stephanie Foo’s experience of complex PSTD （C-PSTD）。 She suffered an unimaginably abusive childhood which resulted in this disorder， a diagnosis she only learnt of when she was thirty， eight years after starting therapy。 Brought up in San Jose， a city of immigrants， Foo describes how most parents there came from brutal pasts， and that the children bore the brunt of this。 No-one discussed this trauma—the community didn’t believe in mental illness， nor did it allow for em An interesting read about Stephanie Foo’s experience of complex PSTD （C-PSTD）。 She suffered an unimaginably abusive childhood which resulted in this disorder， a diagnosis she only learnt of when she was thirty， eight years after starting therapy。 Brought up in San Jose， a city of immigrants， Foo describes how most parents there came from brutal pasts， and that the children bore the brunt of this。 No-one discussed this trauma—the community didn’t believe in mental illness， nor did it allow for emotions or failure。 Foo， determined to conquer her demons， set out to research C-PSTD， and she presents her findings as well as her journey to understand and live with it， in a refreshing， engaging way。 Most fascinating is that she found trauma can be inherited， which is reflected in the title of her book。I was also bowled over by the fact that during the pandemic， Foo suddenly starts to feel normal。 As her （new） therapist points out， PTSD is only a mental illness in times of peace。 In a crisis， you are totally prepared – it is what you’re made for。This was a very difficult read in parts – particularly the start about her upbringing。 But as Foo promises at the beginning， it has a happy ending。 。。。more
Lindy
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I was interested in reading this book because I am currently working on figuring out my own C-PTSD。 I initially scoffed at the warning up front because I didn’t think it would be a problem， but I did find the first section quite triggering。 I ended skimming it more than reading。 But once I got to the second section， it was much easier to take in。 The writing is beautiful and funny and I appreciated the way Foo distills the extensive research she’s done into more manageable bites。 I found myself I was interested in reading this book because I am currently working on figuring out my own C-PTSD。 I initially scoffed at the warning up front because I didn’t think it would be a problem， but I did find the first section quite triggering。 I ended skimming it more than reading。 But once I got to the second section， it was much easier to take in。 The writing is beautiful and funny and I appreciated the way Foo distills the extensive research she’s done into more manageable bites。 I found myself highlighting many passages to bring up with my therapist because she put some many of my thoughts and feelings into words so perfectly。 As I was reading， I often found tears streaming down my face without even realizing I was crying。 I still clearly have a long way to go but this book gave me hope that I’ll get there eventually。ARC provided by NetGalley 。。。more
Bri （readingknitter）
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My first five star read of 2022！ In this memoir， Foo dives into exploring her own experience with complex PTSD， and the difficulty with learning about and understanding her diagnosis。 There is not another book out there that paints a comprehensive， accessible picture of the ramifications of living with long term complex trauma。 This book will be a godsend for so many。 If you had a traumatic childhood， you will cry and learn from this。 Foo lays it all out， including an unflinching look at her own My first five star read of 2022！ In this memoir， Foo dives into exploring her own experience with complex PTSD， and the difficulty with learning about and understanding her diagnosis。 There is not another book out there that paints a comprehensive， accessible picture of the ramifications of living with long term complex trauma。 This book will be a godsend for so many。 If you had a traumatic childhood， you will cry and learn from this。 Foo lays it all out， including an unflinching look at her own cruelties and vulnerabilities。 I will forever be recommending this book: a much needed resource and narrative for so many。 Disclaimer: I was provided an early copy of this book for free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more
Monica | San Fran Literary Gal
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Review to come。
Susie Dumond
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Despite building a stable and fulfilling life for herself， Stephanie Foo couldn’t escape her panic attacks。 She was diagnosed with complex PTSD， the result of years of trauma from abusive parents who ultimately abandoned her as a teenager。 Despite her efforts to move on， her C-PTSD diagnosis showed Foo how her trauma would continue to haunt her life and relationships。 This memoir follows Foo as she learns more about her condition — and about the long history of trauma and pain in her family。 I'm Despite building a stable and fulfilling life for herself， Stephanie Foo couldn’t escape her panic attacks。 She was diagnosed with complex PTSD， the result of years of trauma from abusive parents who ultimately abandoned her as a teenager。 Despite her efforts to move on， her C-PTSD diagnosis showed Foo how her trauma would continue to haunt her life and relationships。 This memoir follows Foo as she learns more about her condition — and about the long history of trauma and pain in her family。 I'm truly in awe of how Stephanie Foo has crafted this devastating， empowering， gorgeous memoir。 It's both personal and expansive， heartbreaking and life affirming。 I sobbed my way through the last quarter。 This book is for anyone who has suffered from trauma， as well as anyone who wants to learn how to better support the people in their lives who need their love the most。 Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC in exchange for my honest review。 。。。more
Malia
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This is a very good memoir about facing childhood trauma！ I think I prefer to read memoirs by people who've come along way in their journey to feeling good about their life， because their path is singular and they acknowledge that， rather than a self-help book that is prescriptive。 For people who struggle with past trauma， there will probably be parts that really resonate and parts that don't， and that alone is interesting。 There are also really interesting and valuable sections about inherited This is a very good memoir about facing childhood trauma！ I think I prefer to read memoirs by people who've come along way in their journey to feeling good about their life， because their path is singular and they acknowledge that， rather than a self-help book that is prescriptive。 For people who struggle with past trauma， there will probably be parts that really resonate and parts that don't， and that alone is interesting。 There are also really interesting and valuable sections about inherited trauma and the intersections of race and trauma。There are some similarities for me between this book and Know My Name， in that the actual process of healing was given much attention in the book。 And I appreciated how clear-headed and thorough this book was， though I don't think the prose was as beautiful as Know My Name's。I really recommend this book for anyone who struggles with childhood trauma or is interested in understanding someone who struggles。 The author has done so much work putting words to experiences that are really hard to capture， and it feels like that work could create shortcuts for some other people on a similar path。***Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing an ARC in exchange for my honest review。*** 。。。more
Judy
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Thanks to Netgalley for an ARC: Foo is a survivor of physical and emotional childhood abuse which left her with a form of PTSD: "complex PTSD"。 This memoir chronicles her efforts to get treatment and information about her condition。 As with many psychiatric conditions there is a lack of consensus and knowledge around C-PTSD。 F00 is a journalist and writer。 She is very thorough and revealing。 She does come from a place of privilege: the ability to leave her job to pursue focused healing and the a Thanks to Netgalley for an ARC: Foo is a survivor of physical and emotional childhood abuse which left her with a form of PTSD: "complex PTSD"。 This memoir chronicles her efforts to get treatment and information about her condition。 As with many psychiatric conditions there is a lack of consensus and knowledge around C-PTSD。 F00 is a journalist and writer。 She is very thorough and revealing。 She does come from a place of privilege: the ability to leave her job to pursue focused healing and the ability to contact experts and receive pro bono therapy。 Having worked with patients with serious mental illness， this is uncommon。 Her research is extensive， but I did find the book overly long and felt it could use some editing。 It is， however， an excellent resource。 。。。more
Melissa
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First: ALL the CW for childhood physical， verbal， and psychological abuse， the author doesn't hold back in describing her childhood。This is an incredible memoir plus investigation into the psychology and treatment of complex PTSD （C-PTSD）， beautifully written and guttingly honest。 First: ALL the CW for childhood physical， verbal， and psychological abuse， the author doesn't hold back in describing her childhood。This is an incredible memoir plus investigation into the psychology and treatment of complex PTSD （C-PTSD）， beautifully written and guttingly honest。 。。。more
Haley
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After receiving a complex-PTSD diagnosis early in her adult life， Foo begins the journey towards healing from the childhood abuse she suffered at the hands of her family。 Foo uses her journalism background and gift for storytelling to show the gritty process of building a support network and understanding oneself in light of a diagnosis such as this。 This memoir is introspective at its heart， but includes in-depth analysis of intergenerational trauma， eastern religion， and trauma within the AAPI After receiving a complex-PTSD diagnosis early in her adult life， Foo begins the journey towards healing from the childhood abuse she suffered at the hands of her family。 Foo uses her journalism background and gift for storytelling to show the gritty process of building a support network and understanding oneself in light of a diagnosis such as this。 This memoir is introspective at its heart， but includes in-depth analysis of intergenerational trauma， eastern religion， and trauma within the AAPI community。 Foo’s personality is a driving force behind what makes this memoir so great。 You can feel her humor， fear， and courage in an almost tangible way， making it easy to connect with her and her story， even if you’ve never experienced C-PTSD yourself。 Thanks to NetGalley and Ballantine Books for an advanced copy！ 。。。more
BookBlanketFort
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What a phenomenal book。 While reading， I took refuge in What My Bones Know， a memoir about healing from Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder。 *In the first part of the book， author， journalist， and podcaster Stephanie Foo takes us through her childhood， filled with parental abuse and abandonment。 But the bulk of the book is Foo’s journey to heal the psychic wounds from that experience。 It may sound dry or overly “feely。” It’s not。 It’s funny and sarcastic and tender and a total page turner。 I What a phenomenal book。 While reading， I took refuge in What My Bones Know， a memoir about healing from Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder。 *In the first part of the book， author， journalist， and podcaster Stephanie Foo takes us through her childhood， filled with parental abuse and abandonment。 But the bulk of the book is Foo’s journey to heal the psychic wounds from that experience。 It may sound dry or overly “feely。” It’s not。 It’s funny and sarcastic and tender and a total page turner。 I read this in 3 sittings！ Flip through for a few passages that hit me deeply。*There’s other good stuff here too。 Foo shares the inside story of the podcasting world。 You might recognize her from This American Life or Snap Judgment。 Through her career and mental health struggles she explores bias against Asian Americans。 But she does it in this personal， engaging way that pulls you in just like an episode of your favorite podcast。 Highly recommend this fascinating， important book。 *Thanks to @netgalley for the ARC of this book。 Look for it in bookstores in February 2022。 。。。more
Michelle Garrett
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Thank you NetGalley for an advanced copy of WHAT MY BONES KNOW by Stephanie Foo。 As someone with my own mental health struggles， I really identified with the theme of this book and the ways that Foo worked so hard to deal with her trauma and create a healthy life for herself。 Even though our traumas and mental health problems weren't the same， the process of recovery had enough similarities for this to be a really helpful and powerful book for me to read。 I also actually grew up in the San Jose， Thank you NetGalley for an advanced copy of WHAT MY BONES KNOW by Stephanie Foo。 As someone with my own mental health struggles， I really identified with the theme of this book and the ways that Foo worked so hard to deal with her trauma and create a healthy life for herself。 Even though our traumas and mental health problems weren't the same， the process of recovery had enough similarities for this to be a really helpful and powerful book for me to read。 I also actually grew up in the San Jose， probably around the same time as Foo。 She attended a high school in my district and we most likely have friends in common， so reading her deep dive on San Jose was really cool for me。 Honestly， as a white person， I'm ashamed to say there was a lot I still didn't know about the immigrant experience despite how much I was around immigrants and the children of immigrants growing up。 I wasn't aware of how wide-spread the physical abuse was or how much trauma was involved。 I really appreciated how much Foo shed the light on that。 This was book really well-researched， really well-thought out， and I'm sure was so hard for Foo to write， but I'm so grateful she did。 I highly recommend it！ 。。。more
Janilyn Kocher
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Each time I read a book like this， I learn new things。 I know about PTSD， but not the complex form like the author has。 Her childhood was terrible with abusive parents who basically abandoned her。 That was appalling to read。 I focused more on her personal story than the diagnosis and therapy aspects。 Foo is a Testament to perseverance and temerity。 When she talks about changing doctors who no longer worked for her， I thought how we all have to be our own best advocates。 Much food for thought in Each time I read a book like this， I learn new things。 I know about PTSD， but not the complex form like the author has。 Her childhood was terrible with abusive parents who basically abandoned her。 That was appalling to read。 I focused more on her personal story than the diagnosis and therapy aspects。 Foo is a Testament to perseverance and temerity。 When she talks about changing doctors who no longer worked for her， I thought how we all have to be our own best advocates。 Much food for thought in this memoir。 Thanks to Random House and NetGalley for the early read。 。。。more
Debbie
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This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 Thank you Netgalley for providing me with a free read in exchange for this reviewI read the disclaimer that this book might be triggering for some。 I dismissed that right away。 I'm good。 I can't be triggered。 I was wrong because this book really shook me up， so much so that I had a tough time sitting and reviewing it。 I'm doing it though because this is an amazing book that deserves praise。I feel like Stephanie Foo and I are soul sisters。 Besides the fact that she is smart， young， hip and succe Thank you Netgalley for providing me with a free read in exchange for this reviewI read the disclaimer that this book might be triggering for some。 I dismissed that right away。 I'm good。 I can't be triggered。 I was wrong because this book really shook me up， so much so that I had a tough time sitting and reviewing it。 I'm doing it though because this is an amazing book that deserves praise。I feel like Stephanie Foo and I are soul sisters。 Besides the fact that she is smart， young， hip and successful （I am none of these things） we are so much alike！ Stephanie and I share a tie that too many of us do。 We were really messed with as children。 That abuse has made both of us exhibit PTSD behavior as adults。 We also have our differences， Stephanie acts out aggressively。 I tend to be extremely passive。There's a part of the story where Stephanie is in group therapy。 The others in group say they're jealous because Stephanie wasn't subjected to a certain kind of abuse that they were， so she wasn't as messed up in a certain way。 That really stuck with me。 People I know well do tend to compare childhood traumas and try to one up each other。 It's a weird little sick game that is hard to break from。 I was so tempted to dismiss some of Stephanie's horrors （and she was subjected to terrible abuse） by thinking mine were worse。 I took the test and got a 9 but who cares？ I know pain is pain and trauma is trauma。Some of the therapies that Stephanie used I could never do， such as the eye movement thing。 Most of the information was really helpful - hopefully life changing。This is a brave， informative book。 It's a brightly written book about a dark subject。 I have huge admiration for Stephanie Foo。 。。。more
Suanne
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Stephanie Foo uses her journalism background to research and beautifully write her memoir of surviving long-term childhood abuse。 She simultaneously places her entire life in review， revealing her most intimate feats and desires。 As a survivor of childhood abuse （though not as horrific as that which Ms。 Foo endured）， I felt sympathy and horror and relived much of my own maltreatment。 Ms。 Foo freely admits her anger and shame present in her life。 Fortunately， she has the wisdom to seek treatment Stephanie Foo uses her journalism background to research and beautifully write her memoir of surviving long-term childhood abuse。 She simultaneously places her entire life in review， revealing her most intimate feats and desires。 As a survivor of childhood abuse （though not as horrific as that which Ms。 Foo endured）， I felt sympathy and horror and relived much of my own maltreatment。 Ms。 Foo freely admits her anger and shame present in her life。 Fortunately， she has the wisdom to seek treatment from multiple mental health professionals—to quit those who didn’t help her。 She tells her story with humor， despite its horrors。 This was a marvelous book with much insight into Ms。 Foo’s personality， her problems， her strengths， and is well worth reading。 People who might be triggered by fairly blunt descriptions of the abuse she sustained should read this with caution。 。。。more
Carol Dass
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Thank you to the author for telling such an awesome story about herself and her trauma。 It was so raw and honest。 I feel I learned more about trauma and how deeply it can affect people。 It was hard to read at times because her abuse was so brutal but she always wanted to heal herself。 A great ending！I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book。 All thoughts and opinions are my own。
Jennifer Russell
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Stephanie Foo gives an in-depth look at complex PTSD and how to overcome the challenges that come from a traumatic childhood。 Foo's vulnerability is the most impressive part of this book。 It wasn't my favorite writing style and the content was hard to get through at times， but the impact of her vulnerability is worth pursuing the book to the end。 While I was unable to relate to much of Foo's story， I found myself rooting for her to find answers。 This book is a great look at how mental health is Stephanie Foo gives an in-depth look at complex PTSD and how to overcome the challenges that come from a traumatic childhood。 Foo's vulnerability is the most impressive part of this book。 It wasn't my favorite writing style and the content was hard to get through at times， but the impact of her vulnerability is worth pursuing the book to the end。 While I was unable to relate to much of Foo's story， I found myself rooting for her to find answers。 This book is a great look at how mental health is managed in our country and how you have to be self-motivated if you want to find answers。 This book won't be for everyone， but I think it will immensely help some people。 。。。more
Mary
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